Weeks 19 + 20

Whew! Half way to meeting this babe! This pregnancy is going by super fast in so many ways, and in other ways I feel as though I've been pregnant for a long time. Zach and I took a trip to Wyoming to visit family, and it was so so fun and refreshing. We relaxed, ate good food, enjoyed quality time with family, floated the river (a first for me!), hung out at the lake, and got to celebrate as Zach's youngest sister Alli got engaged! Yay!

I've seen this q&a type pregnancy update on other blogs, and thought I'd follow along! 

How far along? 19 and 20 weeks (baby size: mango/small cantaloupe)

Maternity clothes? Still using the belly band with regular shorts/pants but definitely think it's time for maternity jeans. (I actually just ordered some during an awesome sale at Gap and I think I'll be stalking the mailman all week in anticipation for them to arrive.)Wearing maternity tops almost exclusively. Maxi dresses are still great too!

Sleep? Wayyyyy better thanks to getting a wonderful pregnancy pillow. This thing looks kind of wacky, takes up half our tiny bed, and I'd still say it's worth it. Even Zach said he's sleeping better because I'm not moving around so much at night. An all around win!

Best moment this week? Visiting our wonderful family in Wyoming. (And flying there instead of driving!!)

Miss anything? Especially on vacation, I would have loved to have more than one cup of coffee. Definitely not a big deal, but kind of missed being able to partake in the constantly full coffee pot at the Simmons'. :)

Movement? Yes! I can feel baby move, and then will notice one side of my stomach is much firmer. So funny to picture our little one swimming around in there! I still haven't felt a kick from the outside, and I can't wait for that! I really want Zach to be able to feel it too. 

Food cravings? Loving green apples

Anything making you queasy/sick? I planned on making turkey meatballs one day this week, and the thought of actually cooking them made me feel so sick. We ordered Chinese food instead. ha!

Gender: I'm guessing girl and Zach is guessing boy! I've wavered back and forth, and Zach has stuck with boy the entire time. We find out next week!!!

Belly button in or out? Still in ... but barely. 

Wedding rings on or off? on

Looking forward to: Finding out if this baby is a baby boy or girl!

Another highlight of my week? Getting to see pictures of my husband as a baby/little boy. Isn't he precious?! I'll be totally ok if this baby has daddy's dimples, curly hair, and long eyelashes. :)

The first trimester .... and part of the second

Here's a bit of a recap of the first and part of the second trimester with this babe. It is completely fascinating to learn about the growth of baby each week, how he or she is developing (from a little tadpole tail to developed legs and feet, vital organs form and are beginning to function, baby can make facial expressions like squinting and frowning!)I just can't get over it. It certainly makes me worship the Creator of all things. 

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." 

Psalm 139:13-14

Overall, I've had things pretty easy in this pregnancy. Compared to so many women, it's been a piece of cake. I am super thankful for this! I had light nausea everyday in the first trimester, but didn't throw up once. (Praise the Lord!! I have such an irrational fear of throwing up.) I was extremely tired, but was working split shift days nannying, so I was able to come home and sneak in a nap nearly everyday. The main symptom I noticed was food aversions. I usually love to cook, and love to eat vegetables and meat. Once I was pregnant, all of that changed. We were trying to eat pretty clean paleo pre-pregnancy, and that whole thing died once we were expecting. The things that sounded good to eat: peanut butter toast, popsicles, fruit, and more popsicles. Anything cold, fruity, and a little sour was awesome. I've still been LOVING lemonade! I also never liked yogurt before (and we weren't eating any dairy because we were sticking pretty close to paleo), but now I eat a chobani greek yogurt everyday. Everyday! I look forward to it. I just finished my yogurt as I typed this, in fact. :)

I think Zach has been loving the changes in our "new" diet - the poor guy missed bread. I made a simple breakfast one morning of toast with cheese and an egg on top, and he was super impressed and commented multiple times how much he loved it. Ha! 

And as promised, here is a collection of iPhone pictures of my growing belly week by week. It's sort of hilarious now to look at pictures and remember how I thought I was "showing" then. I'm sure when I'm at 40 weeks I'll look at pictures of myself now (at 18 weeks) and laugh at how big I thought I looked. I'm bracing myself for what's to come!

Five weeks

Baby size: apple seed

Six Weeks

Baby size: small pea

Seven Weeks

Baby size: blueberry

Eight Weeks

Baby size: raspberry

Nine Weeks

Baby size: green olive

Ten Weeks

Baby size: prune

Eleven Weeks

Baby size: lime

Twelve weeks

Baby size: plum

Thirteen weeks 

Baby size: peach 

Fourteen weeks

Baby size: lemon

At 14 weeks, I also felt a little flutter of movement for the first time!! I was walking up the stairs with a basket of laundry, and stopped in my tracks when I felt it. So fun! I felt it more consistently at 15 weeks, and it's increased from there.

 

Fifteen weeks

Baby size: navel orange 

Sixteen weeks

Baby size: avocado 

Seventeen weeks
Baby size: onion

Eighteen weeks
Baby size: sweet potato 

 We just can't wait to meet this baby. Our love for this little one continues to grow by the day, and we can't wait to find out if we have a little boy or girl joining our family. (Still 3 more weeks until that ultrasound!) We're pretty positive we have a name chosen either way. Oh, I'm just so curious to know who's in there! 

Either way, we'll be thrilled. 

We love you so much baby! 
XO, mama

Finding out some big news

Before I was pregnant, I thought I would be someone who would document my entire pregnancy. Weekly blog posts with updates and pictures, planning the nursery from the moment we found out, lots of DIY baby projects, etc...

Well, here we are at week 17 and I'm just sitting down to write about how we found out we were expecting. (And struggling to get a good bump picture on my phone each week - ha!)

But I'm giving myself some grace because I'm tired. :) Nonetheless, I would like to remember that sweet Saturday when we discovered some news that brought me to immediate tears, the happiest kind. 

On April 26th, I woke up and knew that I could test that day, but wasn't sure my heart could handle it. After months of charting temperatures, pleading with the Lord for a child, and watching others seemingly get pregnant easily, I was feeling weary. It was a season of lots of tears, tons of praying, and fighting to trust that the Lord was withholding no good thing from us. It really felt like crushing disappointment each time I would take another negative test, and I wasn't sure I was prepared for that again. This month was probably the hardest yet, because I was so convinced I wasn't pregnant. I had terrible cramps, but no pregnancy symptoms that I was so keen to look for. I laid in bed and contemplated "wasting" another test, and just asked  God to guide me. He did. I felt peace about getting up and taking one, so I left Zach sleeping in bed and headed to the bathroom. 

Instead of staring at the test for three minutes, I set it down and barely glanced at it. I started to walk away, but TWO LINES caught my eye. TWO?! I had never seen two lines before. I read the back of the box to make sure I was interpreting the test correctly, and by this point I was already crying. And shaking I think. 

I had planned on telling Zach in a really cute, clever, fun way. (Once again, holding loosely to expectations!) I just woke him up, ugly crying and only barely making sense. When you wake up your husband from a dead sleep, sort of hysterical, crying and shaking and saying "Can you look at this? Is this right?!", confusion ensues. Zach thought I hurt myself somehow, and I think he was ready to rush me to the emergency room. I thrust the test at him (yeah I know, I just peed on that), and had him confirm what I was seeing: we were pregnant. As in, having a baby. A BABY.  

It took a while to settle in, and Zach made me take another test the next day just to be sure. :) It's still settling in in so many ways - there's a tiny baby growing inside of me!? We're going to be parents?! This all seems so unreal and sweet.

I have no idea.

I will admit, I always thought it was weird when people took pictures with the pregnancy test.  I mean, you just peed on that thing.  BUT, here we are ... and LOOK AT OUR POSITIVE TEST!

To say we're thankful would be an understatement, we are just so overwhelmed with gratitude and joy for this gift. That the Lord would entrust us to care for this little one, during pregnancy and as many days as He gives our child, I feel humbled and so very glad. Also, I hope this post is an encouragement. I felt alone in some ways when we were either waiting to try for a baby (but our hearts so desired a different timeline), and also in the difficult season of waiting. It seemed that everyone else got pregnant effortlessly, and there was a new announcement on Facebook or Instagram everyday reminding me of what I didn't have. It was so hard, and I think I just got a little glimpse into the pain some endure. It didn't take years for us, just months. So for those who are still waiting, I won't say I get it completely, but I am sorry for the hurt that you may be enduring. Know that God promises never to leave or forsake His children, and that promise is so sweet. He is with us in the midst of trials, and won't let you go. That promise is sweet to me now as well, when new fears about the health of our baby, or the weight of being a mother can make me so consumed with fear. 

Fear not, not I have redeemed you; 

I have called you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;

when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,

and the flame shall not consume you.

For I am the LORD your God, 

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

Isaiah 43:2-3

Thanks to so many who have shared in our joy, and were there to share in our struggles and walk alongside us in the midst of pain as well. We feel so loved. And we love this little one so much already. (I'm going to attempt to compile my grainy cell phone pictures so at least there's some documentation of my growing belly.):) Coming soon! 

weekend getaway --> Lanesboro, MN

We had the best time on our weekend getaway to Lanesboro.  Zach always says that anything that is a need is so much more enjoyable when you get it, and this weekend felt like a need. It was so helpful for just the two of us to get some time together, away from distractions. We stayed at this cute B&B, the Scandinavian Inn.  Doesn't it look like a life sized doll house? The owners were so sweet, the breakfasts were amazing, and there's even a cat named Stanley that welcomes you on the front porch.  I don't even like cats, but Stanley quickly became my friend. 

Lanesboro is known for it's beautifully scenic biking trails, which we took full advantage of.  We rented bikes in town and spent most of Saturday riding through trees and bluffs on a path alongside the Root River.  We stopped at two little towns and took our time exploring.  We also stopped for pie a la mode after riding 27 miles.  (Makes perfect sense to me). 

Side note: if you're not an avid biker, riding 27 miles in one day will make your bum hurt. Real bad. 

I am so so thankful for this time we had together, to connect with one another, to process through current life situations, to spend time reading God's word, and just to rest.  To be honest, life right now does not feel as carefree or happy as these glimpses in photos may portray.  In fact, this is a difficult season.  I find myself praying for thankfulness a lot, asking for God's help a lot, and being broken and needy a lot.  Sounds like somewhere the Lord would want me.  In need of less of myself, more of Him.  He certainly teaches us things through trials (big and small), and I'm fighting to remember God's commitment to growing me in the midst of being in a place I don't want to be. (And fighting to remember I have much to be thankful for).  

I recently listened to a sermon by Paul Tripp, and the phrase that he continued to reiterate was this: "God will take you where you haven't chosen to go, in order to produce in you what you couldn't achieve on your own."

In other words, trials are grace. I'm really praying that this reality would sink into my heart, and walking through difficult things would produce in me a heart more glorifying to Christ, rather than bitterness toward God.  I'm thankful that He is the one who produces change in me, not myself. I'm also thankful that God is so committed to me that He's not satisfied with me staying stagnant in growth - He wants more for me.  He wants to give me more of Himself, which is more satisfying than anything else in the world I could desire. 

If you're interested you could listen to the sermon here.

And, if you're ever headed to southern Minnesota and you'd like a few suggestions....
you may want to stay here. (say hello to Stanley!)
eat here. (try the sweet potato fries, and save room for ice cream!)
catch a play here. (So worth it! We saw an excellent performance.)
And bike all over town.  Eat pie too. :)

PS. thanks to my husband who was so patient the entire weekend when every few steps I said "hey wait! let me take a picture here!" He must love me.